Agent Mom

It struck me on my drive back from a great vacation with my family that I was actually looking forward to Monday morning. I mean, I LOVE laying on the beach, eating ice cream and building sand castles with my kids. In fact, I’m becoming obsessed with finding a way to spend a few months a year doing just that. But at the same time I couldn’t wait to reconnect with clients and implement new ideas that resulted from a week of relaxation.

In the past, I’ve had vacations that seem like an escape from life. These were usually followed by a pit in my stomach as I DREADED going back to work. What a difference to have a fulfilling, God-ordained purpose. Since the early days of The A Group, I’ve always known that only God could orchestrate such a strange and wonderful path to start an endeavor that partners with His ministry around the world.

I told someone yesterday that I have the best job in the world. I get to see first hand the way he is working through ministries and ministers who also love what they are called to do and are so devoted to a specific cause. Just to mention a few:

LIFEHOUSE – I spent this past weekend with my friend Becky Turner of LifeHouse of Houston. Becky and her committed team of board members, staff and volunteers literally pour their lives into providing a safe place for pregnant teen girls who choose (often against the advice of everyone in their lives) to give their babies life.

DAVID RING MINISTRIES – For the past couple years, I’ve watched David Ring expand his ministry.  In fact, we have the privilege of helping to launch his new ministry to high school students. After 30 years of ministry, he has such a heart to reach the lost and rather than being satisfied by status quo, he continues to pursue new opportunities.

WOMEN OF FAITH – Mary Graham and her team at Women of Faith are another example of those who are passionate about their calling. As I met Mary and Amy Chandy last fall, it was clear that their deep commitment – which includes long hours and an incredible travel schedule – is driven by a true desire to see women led into a deeper walk with Christ.

FWBIM – I have a great respect for Mark McPeak and his team at Free Will Baptist International Missions. With the daunting task of managing hundreds of missionaries around the world, the FWBIM group never settles for second best. Rather than just getting the job done, they’re committed to strategic thinking and planning which sets them apart and equips the organization for long-term excellence.

Today, my vacation is over and my tan is rapidly fading, but I have a new appreciation for the opportunity to partner with those who are so committed to a calling. I thank God that we each have a specific part to play, and that I can spend my days pursuing my passion and not just a paycheck.

With Mother’s Day this weekend, it sometimes feels like red carpet award season for moms. Everyone relives the greatest moments of the year and nominates their favorite in the category “World’s Greatest Mom.” This year I’d love to just place. Honorable mention would be fine. Really ANY mention would be fine.

About a year ago I decided to go back to work full-time which has made this year extremely rewarding, totally challenging and definitely exhausting. We’ve had a lot to learn about juggling schedules and making time to spend together as a family.

Along the way, we’ve had highs and lows. So to celebrate Mother’s Day, I thought I’d share some of the highlights -

* We decided to spend some great quality time together and took an 11-day (yes, that’s 11!) trip to Disney World. Ever heard the phrase “too much of a good thing?”

* There was the day I forgot pajama day at my 2-year-old’s day school. It wouldn’t be so bad (honestly, she couldn’t care less) except the teacher announced in front of all the other mommies at pick-up that poor Macy was the ONLY one who didn’t have her pajamas on. Yes, everyone, I am a total LOSER mom!

* One night I was getting extremely frustrated at my husband for taking SO long to put our 5-year-old to bed. After asking him to hurry several times, I finally yelled, “She HAS to go to bed.” He yelled back to me, “Would you give us a minute?? SHE’S ASKING HOW TO HAVE JESUS IN HER HEART!!!” Yep…just how we imagined that special moment for our daughter.

* I walked into the bathroom one day to see the 2-year-old scrubbing inside the toilet with her toothbrush. I was horrified and yelled “NO!” She took one look at me and quickly stuck it right back in her mouth.

* And just tonight I decided to save a bit of time and money and cut my daughter’s hair myself. She is now all business in the front, party in the back.

So we’ve made it through another year full of first days of kindergarten and potty training. I really treasure these mishaps as much as the perfect family moments. We love to laugh at ourselves which is how I know that we’ll make it through next year and the next.

Lord, thanks for trusting me with two precious lives. Please help me keep my sense of humor.

Anyone else care to share a parent “moment”?

This week I took a 12th anniversary trip to Phoenix, AZ with my husband, Joel. We left the girls with grandparents, met some close friends, and spent 3 days at a great resort and spa.

The second day of our trip we drove a couple hours to Sedona, a gorgeous city surrounded by the red rocks of the Coconino National Forest. We spent the afternoon on a 3-hour hike to a mesa with a 360-degree view of the city and surrounding mountains. (Side note: This type of physical activity on a spa vacation was definitely not my idea! In fact, Joel spent most of two days hiking, and hit the gym on the other days. I on the other hand, got my workout raising the little flag to call the pool attendant over so I could order a snack or drink.)

But back to Sedona…after our hike, we went to a lookout to view the famous Sedona Sunset. It really was amazing! We snapped the picture above just before the sun touched the top of the mountains. When the sun finally sank below the horizon, the crowd at the lookout spontaneously began to clap. I wondered what they were thinking….”hooray, God!”? Who were they clapping for?

After dinner we said goodbye to Sedona and began our drive back to Phoenix. On the ride home, it struck me that this day ranked right up there with the top experiences of my life. It also struck me that the day was about enjoying time with those I love and seeing one of God’s natural gifts. It wasn’t about things, awards or accomplishments. It was not tied in any way to the achievements that I spend the majority of my life striving for. In the middle of a global economic meltdown, I sat on a cliff and enjoyed the sunset.

This reminds me of another great life experience – spending a few months in the Dominican Republic living and working in an orphanage. One of my greatest memories of those days is attending the village church. I remember tears streaming down my face as I sat amongst the greatest poverty and need that I’ve experienced, while Christians around me praised God for his faithfulness. That was when I realized that my happiness should not be based on what I have or don’t have. How freeing to know that ANYTHING can be happening around me and I can still choose to be joyful!

I’m back home from Sedona and trying to reconcile the experiences of a great trip with the responsibilities of a busy life. Above all, I’ve got to keep the perspective that the happiness of my life is in no way tied to a paycheck or savings account. As a practical matter, I’ve cut back on the negative news that I listen to and read. We all know there are financial struggles around us – being reminded of them over and over again is useless.

The sun sets in Franklin, TN just as it does in Sedona. I just might make a point to see it this week.

This is really tough for me, but I’m learning to admit that I’m a work in progress. And as a work in progress, I’m not….perfect. There I said it.

I have always been a perfectionist. I vividly remember crying in my seat in third grade because a math problem was challenging to me. I wanted everything to come easily and I wanted an A+.

As I grew up, the struggle continued in different areas. As a newlywed, I tried so hard to make everyone think that we were the perfect couple – no arguing, no financial struggles, none of the common newlywed “issues.” The truth was that we fought more during our first year of newlywed “bliss” than we have at any other point in our marriage. And I remember heading to the scratch and dent grocery store with $25 to purchase two weeks of groceries.

As a new mom, I wanted nothing more than to show up at church with the smiling baby all fixed up, myself dressed to perfection and just smile and say “We’re doing great. She’s sleeping through the night already” when my amazed friends asked how I could have a newborn and be put so together.

Reality found me toting around baby weight with nothing in my closet that fit. And my perfect baby – well, she did sleep through the night early on, but that was the only thing that kept me sane since she cried every waking moment. I was crushed when I overheard someone at church say, “That is the grouchiest baby I’ve every met.”

A year ago I went back to work full-time. I am blessed to have a job I love. I am grateful to have an opportunity to work with so many amazing ministries and leaders. But again I find myself in a zone of perfectionism. I’d like to be super woman. I want everyone to be amazed that I have it all! But the truth is that every day is a struggle.

I often feel guilty that I’m not giving as much to my job as I did before I had kids. I often struggle to remain connected and spend quality time with my kids at the end of the day when I am exhausted. And there are many things that I don’t have time for anymore. I have had to resign from volunteer positions. I rarely have time to sit over a cup of coffee with a friend. And I have to dust my treadmill off before I use it once a month.

The last few years God continues to deal with me on the issue of pride. When I realize that the root of all my attempts at perfection is pride, it looks a little different. Rather than disguising it as an attempt to “give it my all” or “be the best I can be,” I now realize that this has nothing to do with others and everything to do with my selfish desires.

What a relief to know that I can let go of the super-woman syndrome. I was created to bring glory to God. My attempt at perfectionism is not an attempt to bring glory to God, but rather to bring glory to Shannon. In fact, it takes away my ability to rely on God and therefore stifles the ways He can use me. When I turn everything – the perfect, the imperfect and the grouchy baby – over to Him, He can be glorified.

Happy Valentine’s Day! After 12 years of marriage, I can say with great certainty that I love and respect my husband Joel even more today than when I married him at the juvenile age of 20.

Here are a few reasons I love my husband:

1. Have you seen him? I mean, come on. I certainly don’t want to put too much emphasis on appearance, but in his mid-30’s, he still gets glances from teenage girls when he walks by. Yes, I notice. And no, I can’t blame them.

2. HE never notices when the girls look his way. Humility has never been one of my strongest attributes. I am constantly amazed at his ability to downplay a success or pass credit to someone else. I have so much to learn!

3. We’ve grown up together, in so many ways. I can remember our first date when I casually quipped, “I know your type!” I have probably never been more wrong in all my life. I was basing my judgment on his confidence. Little did I know that he was nothing like the cocky guy I expected.

4. Romance My husband sent me flowers every week (yes, literally EVERY week) during our 8-month engagement. The ladies at my work would tell me “Enjoy it while it lasts.” 12 years later, I’m happy to say that it lasted. I don’t get flowers every week (one look at his credit card statements once we were married but an end to that) but he still surprises me with flowers, gifts, notes and weekend getaways (note the picture above from a trip to NYC in the fall).

5. The “Metro” factor My husband is a perfect balance between metro and macho. At any given moment, he would have a difficult time deciding between a trip to the spa and a trip to watch a UFC fight.

6. The “Daddy” factor No matter how good-looking or romantic a man is, I know many women will agree with me that nothing is as attractive as a man that loves his children. I hear him talking to our baby as he rocks her at night and know that my girls will grow up knowing exactly what kind of man they should marry.

7. Spiritual leadership OK – maybe just one thing is more attractive than loving his children, and that is loving the Lord. I watch my husband take late night calls from college students in his college ministry or those in his small group. I see him reading, studying and seeking wisdom. I know he loves God way more than he loves me, and I couldn’t be happier!

8. Priorities Never in a million years would we have guessed 12 years ago that we’d be living where we live or doing what we do, but our priorities have always remained the same. We’ve been through some really tough things but keeping focus on what is important has been and will always be our anchor.

Thanks to my Pastor for sharing this in church today. Could this be the answer to reaching a lost generation for the Lord?

Watch in its entirety. The finale is not to be missed.

Happy Tuesday to all my mom friends! This is for you -

One day a man came home and found his house a disaster. The kids were still in their pajamas outside playing in the mud. Empty food boxes and wrappers littered the house. Dishes were on the counter, dog food was all over the floor and a broken glass lay under the table. Toys and clothes cluttered the playroom and a lamp was lying on its side.

He headed up the stairs, stepping over toys, looking for his wife. He was worried that she was sick, or that something worse might have happened. He found her in the bedroom, still in bed with her pajamas on, reading a book. She looked up at him, smiled, and asked, “How was your day?”

“What in the world happened here today?”

She again smiled and answered, “You know everyday when you come home from work and ask me what I did today?”

“Yes. . . ?”

“Well, today I didn’t do it!

This story is from Say Goodbye to Whining, Complaining, and Bad Attitudes, In You and Your Kids by Dr Scott Turansky and Joanne Miller RN, BSN.

For me it is all the countless details that I keep in my head (schedules, bills, kids needs, etc.) that I sometimes wish others could see and appreciate. I KNOW my family appreciates me, but sometimes I don’t think anyone really gets ALL the details a mom handles in any given day.

What is for you? What do you do that you doesn’t receive appropriate recognition?

This weekend we were at our small group meeting when I heard a scream from the room where the kids were playing. And though our small group has more toddlers than a Jon & Kate episode, I immediately knew THAT scream. It was my 1-year-old. I literally leapt over the child gate and saw my daughter’s finger pinned in the frame of a closed door.

Apparently my 5-year-old daughter had gone into the restroom and unknowingly shut the door on her sister’s finger. The worst part was that, in spite of the scream, she locked the door and continued about her business!

So there I was pounding on the door, screaming “Open this door NOW!” And my sweet, usually compliant daughter kept responding “But m-o-m, I am going to the bathroom!”

As I thought about it later, I realized how strange it must have been to my 5-year-old that I was demanding she open the door at that very moment. But the next day, long after the finger had been determined not to be broken, we had a long conversation about obedience. It scared me so badly to think that in a moment of emergency, my daughter might not obey.

It really comes down to trust. My daughter has to learn to trust my judgment, even when it makes no sense.

Honestly, she gets it from me. I want to know why and when and how often…before I follow the instructions. And once I have all the info, I reserve the right to take some time and decide if I agree.

All too often the same applies to my trust in my heavenly father. I want all the facts. I can just imagine God saying, “Get off the toilet and open the door! Even though what you’re doing seems right to you, you don’t see the whole picture!”

What if as a child of God I quit explaining what I’m doing…or why I’m doing it…and just OBEYed?

I have a new secret indulgence, and surprisingly, it has to do with Martha Stewart. I can’t get enough of Fine Living Network’s show “Whatever, Martha!”

As a card-carrying member of the anti-Martha generation, it was only by accident that I stumbled upon a show all about Martha. What intrigued me was that it featured Martha’s daughter, Alexis, and her best friend actually watching and making fun of Martha’s shows. At first I found it funny but soon I started to feel sorry for Martha. How bad does your life have to get for your own daughter to make a living out of brutally critiquing your clothes, hair, and occupation?

Even though it all seemed so vicious, I just couldn’t stop watching. On this episode, the girls were making fun of Martha’s well-organized linen closet which Martha proudly proclaimed to be “a basic responsibility of every homemaker.” And they threw in so many personal (and frankly, interesting) anecdotes. Her daughter mentioned that Martha always told her, “The only thing I want for you in life is to be happy…as long as it’s on my terms!”

It wasn’t until the end of the show that I saw “Created and Executive Produced by Martha Stewart.” What?? Martha created a show to mock herself! Now I’m not naive enough to miss the fact that this all comes down to money. This is, of course, another audience and another revenue source. While I couldn’t care less to watch Martha Stewart make jewelry from dried corn, I find it irresistible to watch someone make fun of it!

But I’d have to think that there are few of us who would NEVER open themseleves up to the ridicule that this show dishes…regardless of money. So I can watch this show guilt-free knowing that Martha condones it, and I can finally say something good about Martha. In some bizarre capitalistic way, she actually knows how to laugh at herself.

I don’t really care to learn to bake luscious layer cake or to make fortune cookies out of felt, but I would like to learn to lighten up a bit and have a good laugh at myself! So thanks for the lesson, Martha.

Today I sat in a room with a group of men bragging about their blog rankings. Honestly, if I didn’t have to pick up a pack of diapers, take my daughter to the doctor with another ear infection, interview babysitters, and finish a marketing plan for a client presentation, I would just love to worry about where my little journal ranks amongst the estimated 10 million others.

In fact there are many things I would love to worry about – how to drop a few pounds, world peace, and finishing a well-intentioned baby scrapbook for my daughter who just turned five. But I often seem caught in this cycle of worrying about survival. Making sure my kids are fed dinner somehow makes it to the top of my priority list every night!

Earlier this week I had lunch with a new friend who is my age and admitted that she wasn’t sure she really wanted to have children. She loves her career and isn’t sure that she wants kids. I respect that decision as much as I respect all my great friends who work (so hard!) at home every single day.

The truth is – regardless of our choices on children and working, we all must make choices that reflect our priorities. When I put my computer down to play a board game with my daughter, it reflects my priorities. When I spent a little extra time putting finishing touches on a client project, it reflects my priorities. When I push aside the tax report pile on my desk to take a call from a friend in crisis, it reflects my priorities. And while I want to be everything to everybody, I can’t. There are days that simply meeting the survival needs of my family is a major accomplishment.

Don’t get me wrong – I love technology and am fascinated by the way social media continues to change the way we communicate. There are many opportunities to reach people with whom we might otherwise never come in contact.

But as long as I know where my priorities lie, I will never have to feel like a lesser human because my blog ranks lower than yours.