Agent Mom

“As a mother comforts her child, so will I comfort you;” Isaiah 66:13

I’ve received so much encouragement since I shared a couple weeks ago about our upcoming adoption of a little boy from Ethiopia. So many people want to know what they can do to help. We’re working through budgets, documents, and details now, but above all I’m asking for prayer. Every night as I lay down, I am overwhelmed with the realization that I have a son across the world in Africa. I don’t know who he is yet, but I know he’s there. And whatever terrible situation occurs (death of parents, family unable to feed their children, abandonment) to cause him to be an orphan,  it is likely happening now.

Orphanage in Addis Ababa, Ethiopia

Pete Wilson, in his book Plan B, says “The greatest of all illusions is the illusion of control.” As a mother, I’ve always intended to put my children’s well-being in God’s hands. But the truth is, from pregnancy on, I’ve felt responsible for feeding them, protecting them, and loving them. I’ve been under the illusion of control when it comes to my family. Now, as we follow a very God-directed plan to adopt from Africa, there is no more illusion that I can protect all my children. As I pray each night for our son, I truly put my child in God’s care.

So tonight as you tuck your children into bed, I’d love for you to say a prayer for a little boy in Ethiopia who is resting in the hands of God.

There’s only one thing worse than a bad plan….a good plan with bad implementation.

I’m a planner. I value not only the plan, but the process of defining strategy and setting expectations. Unfortunately, too many good plans get a bad rap. No matter how good the plan is, without adequate support – time, priority and financial – it will fail. If you’re able to sweep the failure aside and move on, good for you, but in most cases the consequences of losing extend well beyond the obvious failure, including:

1. Risk Aversion – For every failed plan, you’re less likely to take the risk necessary to achieve success in the future.

2. Misdirected Blame – Once a plan fails, we’re most likely to blame the plan, not the execution. I’ve sat with many clients who say, “We tried that. It didn’t work.” Many times I’m certain that it wasn’t the idea that was wrong. But most of these good plans will never get another chance.

3. Loser Syndrome – Teams or individuals that lose start to experience a loser mentality. In my first years in marketing, I was part of a brilliant team. Strangely, this team of successful people was collectively a failure. Looking back, I realize that the team had experienced too many losses to ever win. We had loser syndrome.

Unfortunately, these consequences follow losses in all areas of life…from major boardroom initiatives to the simple parenting strategies that lack follow through.

Don’t give up on planning and trying new things. But before implementing the next plan, evaluate the investment you’re prepared to make. When a plan isn’t successful but you know you gave it all you’ve got, there’s much to be learned. When it fails due to poor execution, there is much more to be lost than you may realize.

Have you experienced any of these (or other) consequences of a failed plan?

There are an estimated 147 million orphans in the world.

Last fall I shared that God was asking me for full submission. Submit my plans, submit my tendency to control. I didn’t know what, but I knew something was coming.

Now I know…we’re going to Africa, to Ethiopia.  Actually, we’ll be going twice next year. On the second trip, we’ll be bringing home a new family member….our son.

Believe me, I can tell you all the reasons this makes no sense. In my conversations with God, I tried to use my analytics, my persuasion, even my ability to negotiate. It’s funny how skills that are so highly valued in the business world are so totally useless with the Lord.

I told him surely he’d rather ask this of my great stay-at-home mom friends. He told me that he didn’t ask to use Aaron, he asked Moses to go.

I told him that it wouldn’t be smart…think of all the unknowns. What if this had a negative impact on my two beautiful, happy, healthy girls? As a parent, it wouldn’t be responsible. He told me that he asked Abraham to lay everything on the altar…even his children.

So I can tell you all the reasons this makes no sense, but I can tell you one reason that it does….God asked us to. So we’re going. We’re scared. We’re excited. We’re humbled that God would use us in this way. Above all, we’re not in control, and it’s so much better that way.

During a make-up break (for Maurilio) at our photo shoot

Just when we thought it couldn’t get any better…

There’s nothing like the reward…and work…of launching new initiatives. Two years ago Maurilio and I had the privilege of launching a literary agency. Our relationships with publishers, mega-church pastors, ministry leaders and authors made it a natural fit. Combine that with our marketing and technology expertise, and we were able to offer what few agents could – investment in the full publishing process, from pitch to retail.

Just when we thought it couldn’t get any better, it did.

Earlier this year, I met Tami Heim. What started as casual introduction soon developed into dreaming about possibilities. The changing world of publishing offered an opportunity to do what we at The A Group do best – adapt, implement and fill the gap. From content delivery to social media strategy, today’s ministry and author brands find a complex landscape with fragmented expertise. Combining Tami’s 360 degree view of retail and publishing with our experience in book marketing and technology brought a comprehensive option to manage and grow brands.

Today we are officially announcing the launch of our Brand Development division at The A Group. Approaching content delivery from the perspective of long-term brand development, we can guide authors to the unique opportunities in today’s publishing environment.

One look at Tami’s resume and you’ll note her extensive experience, from Chief Publishing Officer at Thomas Nelson to President of Borders Books. But even more impressive might be her heart. I recently explained it this way, “I can’t tell you the last time I met someone who truly approaches every situation desiring a win for all involved.” I’m blessed to call her mentor, friend, and now…officially…partner.

What opportunities have you found in an environment of change?

When I fly, I’m always drawn to the SkyMall catalog. And with Christmas just a few days away, I wanted to make sure you were aware of these gifting gems, all currently available at SkyMall:

An aluminum wine-safe that is FAA approved to carry 12 bottles of wine on your flight with you. Their slogan is “Leave no wine behind.” I think it should be “Leave no win-o behind.”

Video Recording Sunglasses with a built-in video camera to let you discreetly record all that you see. Ummm…creepy. These are probably the same people buying “The only picture taking night vision binoculars.”

A portable microwave oven with a DC adapter so you can use it in your car. Isn’t that what drive thru’s are for??

The marshmallow shooter. OK, all kidding aside, I hope this shows up in my stocking.

A remote-controlled tarantula. Yep, I know what I’m getting my sister’s kids for Christmas. She’ll never forgive me.

Adult-sized footed pajamas fits up to 6’7”/260 lbs. I think we may do our family Christmas card pic in these next year. Joel, are you in?

Seat pair from the original Yankee stadium. $1,499 includes the original beer stains and sweat scent. It makes a great addition to the $99 “Freeze-dried grass from the original Yankee stadium.

“The slanket” - Apparently the Snuggie has competition!

The Hollywood Cookie Diet. If anyone has tried this, please contact me personally before I waste $60. So tempting…

Pants Un-heeled. Your “sole-u-tion” to the annoying pants/heel wedgie. What is a pants/heel wedgie? That annoying occurrence when your pants creep under your heel when you’re wearing open-back heels. Where have you been all my life? I am totally buying these.

Solafeet, a small tanning bed for your feet. “Golfers, rid yourself of those ugly sock tan lines forever.” Proof that we really do have many significant worries here in America.

A doggie-DNA test kit. Seriously? What dog wants to find out that his mom was prowling around?

The square root watch. Instead of the hour markers, each is represented as a square root that translates into whole numbers. Ad says “Brainy math types will love this watch, but why should they have all the fun?” This was obviously created by a lonely, brainy math type who for the life of him…can’t figure out why he is alone.

Yes, those are all real. I couldn’t make it up if I tried. Another tribute to good old-fashioned American excess.

Hope this helps as you fight the crowds looking for the perfect last-minute gift.

I like to know the plan. And I like to be in control.

Those are not bad things in themselves. But the past few months, God has been asking me to say “yes.” That in itself is not necessary difficult, either. I’ve often heard God give me clear direction to give, to do something, or make changes in my life. I usually manage to make the right decision, and have always found out that God’s plans are way better than mine.

The difference lately is that God is asking me to say “yes” without giving me the plan. I’ve clearly felt him prompting me to decide that I’d say “yes” to anything (and yes, I mean anything) he’d ask of me. How scary!! That takes away my control, erases my plan and potentially puts me in discomfort.

It’s been a few months and I can finally say that I’m at that point. Whatever he asks, I’ll do. I’m waiting for some life-changing, earth-shattering request but it hasn’t come yet. Maybe this is more about the process of submission than the act of obedience. Maybe not. Regardless, I can’t wait to see what is in store.

With Mother’s Day this weekend, it sometimes feels like red carpet award season for moms. Everyone relives the greatest moments of the year and nominates their favorite in the category “World’s Greatest Mom.” This year I’d love to just place. Honorable mention would be fine. Really ANY mention would be fine.

About a year ago I decided to go back to work full-time which has made this year extremely rewarding, totally challenging and definitely exhausting. We’ve had a lot to learn about juggling schedules and making time to spend together as a family.

Along the way, we’ve had highs and lows. So to celebrate Mother’s Day, I thought I’d share some of the highlights -

* We decided to spend some great quality time together and took an 11-day (yes, that’s 11!) trip to Disney World. Ever heard the phrase “too much of a good thing?”

* There was the day I forgot pajama day at my 2-year-old’s day school. It wouldn’t be so bad (honestly, she couldn’t care less) except the teacher announced in front of all the other mommies at pick-up that poor Macy was the ONLY one who didn’t have her pajamas on. Yes, everyone, I am a total LOSER mom!

* One night I was getting extremely frustrated at my husband for taking SO long to put our 5-year-old to bed. After asking him to hurry several times, I finally yelled, “She HAS to go to bed.” He yelled back to me, “Would you give us a minute?? SHE’S ASKING HOW TO HAVE JESUS IN HER HEART!!!” Yep…just how we imagined that special moment for our daughter.

* I walked into the bathroom one day to see the 2-year-old scrubbing inside the toilet with her toothbrush. I was horrified and yelled “NO!” She took one look at me and quickly stuck it right back in her mouth.

* And just tonight I decided to save a bit of time and money and cut my daughter’s hair myself. She is now all business in the front, party in the back.

So we’ve made it through another year full of first days of kindergarten and potty training. I really treasure these mishaps as much as the perfect family moments. We love to laugh at ourselves which is how I know that we’ll make it through next year and the next.

Lord, thanks for trusting me with two precious lives. Please help me keep my sense of humor.

Anyone else care to share a parent “moment”?

This week I took a 12th anniversary trip to Phoenix, AZ with my husband, Joel. We left the girls with grandparents, met some close friends, and spent 3 days at a great resort and spa.

The second day of our trip we drove a couple hours to Sedona, a gorgeous city surrounded by the red rocks of the Coconino National Forest. We spent the afternoon on a 3-hour hike to a mesa with a 360-degree view of the city and surrounding mountains. (Side note: This type of physical activity on a spa vacation was definitely not my idea! In fact, Joel spent most of two days hiking, and hit the gym on the other days. I on the other hand, got my workout raising the little flag to call the pool attendant over so I could order a snack or drink.)

But back to Sedona…after our hike, we went to a lookout to view the famous Sedona Sunset. It really was amazing! We snapped the picture above just before the sun touched the top of the mountains. When the sun finally sank below the horizon, the crowd at the lookout spontaneously began to clap. I wondered what they were thinking….”hooray, God!”? Who were they clapping for?

After dinner we said goodbye to Sedona and began our drive back to Phoenix. On the ride home, it struck me that this day ranked right up there with the top experiences of my life. It also struck me that the day was about enjoying time with those I love and seeing one of God’s natural gifts. It wasn’t about things, awards or accomplishments. It was not tied in any way to the achievements that I spend the majority of my life striving for. In the middle of a global economic meltdown, I sat on a cliff and enjoyed the sunset.

This reminds me of another great life experience – spending a few months in the Dominican Republic living and working in an orphanage. One of my greatest memories of those days is attending the village church. I remember tears streaming down my face as I sat amongst the greatest poverty and need that I’ve experienced, while Christians around me praised God for his faithfulness. That was when I realized that my happiness should not be based on what I have or don’t have. How freeing to know that ANYTHING can be happening around me and I can still choose to be joyful!

I’m back home from Sedona and trying to reconcile the experiences of a great trip with the responsibilities of a busy life. Above all, I’ve got to keep the perspective that the happiness of my life is in no way tied to a paycheck or savings account. As a practical matter, I’ve cut back on the negative news that I listen to and read. We all know there are financial struggles around us – being reminded of them over and over again is useless.

The sun sets in Franklin, TN just as it does in Sedona. I just might make a point to see it this week.

Happy Tuesday to all my mom friends! This is for you -

One day a man came home and found his house a disaster. The kids were still in their pajamas outside playing in the mud. Empty food boxes and wrappers littered the house. Dishes were on the counter, dog food was all over the floor and a broken glass lay under the table. Toys and clothes cluttered the playroom and a lamp was lying on its side.

He headed up the stairs, stepping over toys, looking for his wife. He was worried that she was sick, or that something worse might have happened. He found her in the bedroom, still in bed with her pajamas on, reading a book. She looked up at him, smiled, and asked, “How was your day?”

“What in the world happened here today?”

She again smiled and answered, “You know everyday when you come home from work and ask me what I did today?”

“Yes. . . ?”

“Well, today I didn’t do it!

This story is from Say Goodbye to Whining, Complaining, and Bad Attitudes, In You and Your Kids by Dr Scott Turansky and Joanne Miller RN, BSN.

For me it is all the countless details that I keep in my head (schedules, bills, kids needs, etc.) that I sometimes wish others could see and appreciate. I KNOW my family appreciates me, but sometimes I don’t think anyone really gets ALL the details a mom handles in any given day.

What is for you? What do you do that you doesn’t receive appropriate recognition?

I have a new secret indulgence, and surprisingly, it has to do with Martha Stewart. I can’t get enough of Fine Living Network’s show “Whatever, Martha!”

As a card-carrying member of the anti-Martha generation, it was only by accident that I stumbled upon a show all about Martha. What intrigued me was that it featured Martha’s daughter, Alexis, and her best friend actually watching and making fun of Martha’s shows. At first I found it funny but soon I started to feel sorry for Martha. How bad does your life have to get for your own daughter to make a living out of brutally critiquing your clothes, hair, and occupation?

Even though it all seemed so vicious, I just couldn’t stop watching. On this episode, the girls were making fun of Martha’s well-organized linen closet which Martha proudly proclaimed to be “a basic responsibility of every homemaker.” And they threw in so many personal (and frankly, interesting) anecdotes. Her daughter mentioned that Martha always told her, “The only thing I want for you in life is to be happy…as long as it’s on my terms!”

It wasn’t until the end of the show that I saw “Created and Executive Produced by Martha Stewart.” What?? Martha created a show to mock herself! Now I’m not naive enough to miss the fact that this all comes down to money. This is, of course, another audience and another revenue source. While I couldn’t care less to watch Martha Stewart make jewelry from dried corn, I find it irresistible to watch someone make fun of it!

But I’d have to think that there are few of us who would NEVER open themseleves up to the ridicule that this show dishes…regardless of money. So I can watch this show guilt-free knowing that Martha condones it, and I can finally say something good about Martha. In some bizarre capitalistic way, she actually knows how to laugh at herself.

I don’t really care to learn to bake luscious layer cake or to make fortune cookies out of felt, but I would like to learn to lighten up a bit and have a good laugh at myself! So thanks for the lesson, Martha.